


rail me

by bondofoblivion



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Chatting & Messaging, Comedy, Confessions, Flirting, Group chat, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Status Ailments, Status Effects, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:35:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26026570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bondofoblivion/pseuds/bondofoblivion
Summary: Ren sends a private message to the Phantom Thieves group chat by mistake. Chaos ensues.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 5
Kudos: 257





	rail me

**Author's Note:**

> This has been in my drafts for a VERY long time. P5R inspired me to finish it, but there are no spoilers as this is set in the Persona 5 vanilla universe. Also, I played around with what creatures could cast status ailments. Particularly the Mara.
> 
> Do me a favor and leave a comment—I'd love to hear what you think.
> 
> ( PS: this was inspired by a fucking tweet i saw like ages ago so here you go — have some flaming garbage that somehow got kind of soft towards the end )

Ren: me @ black mask goro: rail me

Ann: oof.

Ann: did you mean to private me?

Makoto: I think the real question is if he meant to send that at all.

Yusuke: Considering Akechi happens to be a member of this chat, Ren must be mistaken.

Futaba: akechi’s calling ren 

Futaba: WE SEE YOU

Futaba: WE KNOW

Haru: What are they saying?

Ryuji: i thought youd be the last person to wanna know our leaders kinks about akechi

Futaba: UH — WELL — ren just stuttered and hung up

Makoto: Is there truly a need for having Akechi-kun’s phone bugged still?

Yusuke: The aesthetic appeal of Akechi’s black mask outfit should be noted, despite any unsavory deeds committed while wearing it.

Futaba: its his punishment

Akechi: Ren.

Futaba: for being bad

Ann: oof.

Akechi: Ren Amamiya.

Futaba: here i go again 

Ann: i think ren wants to be the one to punish him.

Haru: Ann!

Akechi: I’m well aware you are reading this, Ren.

Ryuji: ofc he is

Ren: Hey guys, what’s up

Ann: your thirst levels for Akechi-kun, that’s for sure.

Futaba: HE’S CALLING REN AGAIN

Futaba: DENIED

Ren: Uh, guilty

Haru: I must admit that I’m concerned that you’re referring to the persona of Akechi-kun’s black mask. Is that the part of him that you wish to engage with?

Ryuji: he wants black mask in all his bdsm glory — seems pretty simple to me

Futaba: im choking

_‘Futaba changed Akechi’s nickname to bdsm glory’_

Makoto: Considering Akechi is also a wildcard and therefore the only one of our numbers with the amount of power equivalent to Akira, handing over the reigns (in a manner of speaking) does make sense.

Ann: plus, that bodysuit leaves very little to the imagination.

Yusuke: Ah, you must mean to say that Akechi is ‘packing,’ correct?

Futaba: IM SCREAMING — YUSUKE JUST SAID AKECHI IS PACKING

_‘bdsm glory changed their nickname to Akechi’_

Akechi: For all of your sakes, I will choose to disregard the past several messages.

Akechi: Though, Futaba, might I request your assistance?

Futaba: as long as its embarrassing ren i’m game

Akechi: I thought you might agree.

Ren: I don’t like this

Akechi: Please momentarily disable Ren’s ability to participate in the chat, if you will, Futaba.

Ren: I definitely don’t like this

Futaba: you sure?

Ryuji: rip ren — nice knowin ya

Ren: What are you planning

Akechi: Positive.

Futaba: ITS DONE

Akechi: Now, would you all be interested in hearing of the time when our fearless leader invited me to Mementos for training, only to be struck with lust without any curatives on either of our persons?

Futaba: RENS CALLING HIM

Futaba: WAIT

Futaba: FINISH THE STORY

Ann: what are they saying?

Futaba: AKECHI YOU ASS

Futaba: HOW ARE YOU BLOCKING ME NOW?

Ryuji: if it was a mara ill scream

Futaba: IF IT WAS THAT NPC ILL KILL HIM

Haru: Mishima is the only reason we’ve gained any true notoriety if I assume his role correctly.

Futaba: BUT STILL

Futaba: WAIT — AKECHI HUNG UP

Futaba: AKECHI CMON

Yusuke: Admittedly, I am also curious as to how you two escaped such a predicament.

Akechi: There was indeed a Mara involved.

* * *

When Ren found himself standing at the door to Goro’s apartment, he wasn’t surprised. After his mishap and the resulting madness in the group chat, he figured it was best to address the root of the problem.

That’s what he was telling himself, at least.

Admittedly, he panicked when he saw Goro mention the incident with the Mara, calling the detective before he could finish regaling the group with the tale. Goro answered after the first ring.

Ren expected some snide remark about his original text and he wasn’t disappointed with Goro’s response. “Of all the places to effectively confess? Ren—,” The detective said, pausing for effect. Ren could practically hear the smirk pulling at his lips as he spoke, “I’m floored.”

“Confess—,” Ren replied, “is a strong word.”

Ren knocked on Goro’s door.

“I gather that’s you?” Goro said, opening the door not a moment later.

“Yep,” Ren responded, even as he came face to face with the detective. 

Then, he found himself actively refraining from gaping. Yes, Ren one hundred percent refrained from gaping at the sight of a slightly disheveled detective prince. His gaze certainly did not linger around the exposed skin nearest Goro’s collar bones, the first few buttons of his shirt undone, tie loose around the other man’s neck. Ren also definitely did not note how Goro’s frame was conspicuously lacking the boxy tan blazer he seemed to don on all occasions. And the fact that toned forearms were revealed by how Goro’s sleeves were rolled up to his elbows—Ren was definitely not distracted by that, nor the gloves that were still on Goro’s hands, one of which was preoccupied with the doorknob and the other with his smartphone.

“Enlighten me then,” Goro said, continuing their conversation even as he disconnected the line. “What would you call that?”

Ren tore his eyes away from the uncharacteristically exposed skin and met Goro’s eyes.

“Expressing curiosity…” Ren replied, pocketing his phone.

“And what happened in Mementos?” Goro countered, a sharp grin curving the line of his mouth.

“I knew you were my enemy then,” Ren said, stepping forward. Goro moved aside, typing out a quick message before placing his phone face down on a table near the door, allowing the other man into his apartment.

“Such harsh condemnation, Amamiya-kun,” Goro said, an amused huff of breath escaping him. He closed the door and turned to Ren. “You don’t truly believe I misunderstood that, do you?” Goro asked, a perfectly arched brow punctuating his statement.

Ren hated how the detective didn’t even bother hiding the mirth behind his usual guise of politeness. If anything, his grin was even sharper now, predatory.

The leader of the Phantom Thieves liked it, probably a little bit more than he should have.

“I cannot believe you were going to tell them,” Ren said, grinning in turn.

“You were begging for my cock, Ren,” Goro replied, a small laugh escaping him, even as he walked to the small kitchenette that connected to his living space. “I simply did you the service of ridding you of a status ailment by all means necessary.” He paused, opening one of the cabinets and looked back at Ren, a question posed on the tip of his tongue. “Coffee?”

Ren declined with a shake of his head, and Goro closed the cabinet, turning back to face him. Ren couldn’t really explain what came over him, only that when nearly red eyes met grey hues, he was crowding Goro against the cupboard, arms framing him with hands braced against the countertop.

“And it seemed like you really hated sucking me off,” Ren replied with a smirk.

Another amused huff escaped Goro as he moved forward. Ren took a step back, arms falling to his sides as he allowed the detective to escape. Grey eyes trailed Goro’s form as he traveled back into the living room, where Goro gathered his coat from where it lay draped over the back of the small couch inhabiting the space, and hung it on a rack by the door. The detective was quiet, even as he retrieved his phone from the table and checked it. Afterwards, he spoke.

“I could have left you to the Mara,” Goro noted, grinning again as he met Ren’s eyes. Ren took care not to acknowledge that he had unwittingly followed the detective to his current location. “I’m certain that shadow would have sufficed,” Goro added, the suggestion somehow both threatening and playful. “But it was truly painfully obvious that you were attracted to me, status effect or not.”

The notion had Ren’s toes curling in his shoes, which he hadn’t removed before entering the threshold. Briefly, he considered if Goro had noticed or cared, but the thought was fleeting. Ren was far too engaged, all senses focused on the detective. Being around Goro always kept him close to edge—and when he had been charmed—it might have helped him cross it once or twice.

“I could have handled it,” Ren replied.

He was lying. 

They both knew that much.

“I’ll admit,” Goro added, placing the phone back down, his hand against his chin in brief contemplation. Goro switched masks with the kind of haste Ren did in the Metaverse. His tone was saccharin when he continued, “—I really didn’t think you’d still want me to fuck you into submission after all that’s transpired.”

Ren’s grin turned mischievous then, and though rational thought begged him otherwise, he really had no interest in stopping the next words to come out of his mouth. “Interesting that you didn’t think I’d want it more.”

“What’s that Makoto said?” Goro asked, the question rhetorical, as he moved to take off his gloves. “Something about insisting on another taking the reins?”

“What’s that, about fucking me into submission?” Ren countered, emboldened. “I’m honestly a little surprised you didn’t bend my cognitive double over the table before shooting him dead.”

Goro rolled his eyes.

“If Sae-san believed I was a blushing virgin,” Goro said, “then I can’t imagine what she thought of you.”

“So,” Ren said, reaching up to grasp one of Goro’s hands in his own, “are you going to take matters into your own hands or am I going to walk out of that door without a limp?”

“Perish the thought, Amamiya-kun,” Goro simply replied. “Would you like to take this to metaverse since Loki seems to be what you desire?” He asked, lacing his free hand through raven locks, tugging harshly to expose the line Ren’s neck. “Or do you think he and I are truly depraved in the same sense?”

Ren exhaled through his nose, eyes angled down to look upon red hues. He allowed the smirk that had been threatening to manifest at the corner of his mouth to blossom and directed the cutting grin at the detective.

“I’d like you to fuck me,” He replied. “The black mask effect would be just a bonus.”

“Then,” Goro replied, “allow me to invite you to feel your inferiority.”

* * *

Futaba: WHOS GONNA SAY IT?

Makoto: Say what?

Ryuji: oh u mean that ren and akechi have been real quiet for a while now

Yusuke: I can only assume that they are talking out their differences.

Ann: oof they’re doing something alright but it’s a lot more than talking.

Haru: You don’t mean to imply that—?

 _‘Futaba changed Ren’s nickname to akechifucker69’_

Makoto: Oh my god. I did this.

Futaba: I CANT

Ryuji: think the pancake prince tied him up

Haru: Now who’s the one interested in our leader’s kinks?

Ann: have you seen his arms? akechi-kun could hold him down no problem.

Makoto: You’re not making what’s going on sound consensual.

Ryuji: lol i forget we talked about kinks before miss student council joined

Yusuke: It was an enlightening experience.

_‘Futaba changed Yusuke’s nickname to furry™’_

Futaba: IM KINKSHAMING

Futaba: YOU ALL ALREADY KNEW YUSUKE WAS A FURRY

_‘Ryuji changed furry™’s nickname to Yusuke’_

Ryuji: no kink shaming in my chat

Ann: unless it’s daddy kink right — BIG OOF.

Yusuke: Futaba, in regards to your earlier assertion, if I recall the definition correctly, I am not a furry. If you are implying that since my metaverse costume has a tail and therefore I am a furry, then the same logic must apply to Ann.

Ryuji: oh futaba, you dont wanna do that

Futaba: ANN IS ALSO A FURRY

Ann: excuse me.

Ann: let me send you guys some screenshots of a conversation futaba and i had once.

Futaba: I TAKE IT BACK

Futaba: ANN DONT DO IT

Futaba: IM SORRY

Ryuji: lmao is it her fanfic

Ryuji: or should i say PHANfic

Ann: its her phanfic.

Makoto: Please tell me it’s not about Akechi and Ren.

Ryuji: it might be about you and our residential heiress

Haru: Excuse me?

Ann: that got her attention.

Haru: I’m sorry. I don’t think I understand. Futaba wrote something about myself and Makoto?

Yusuke: An interesting take.

Makoto: Oh my god, I am mortified.

Ryuji: you heard it here, futaba gets off to the idea of our tanks fucking

Haru: Ryuji!

Ann: i’m dead.

_‘Ryuji changed Futaba’s nickname to horny on main’_

horny on main: I SAID I WAS SORRY

horny on main: OH MY GOD

_‘horny on main changed Ryuji’s nickname to ramen ho’_

akechifucker69: link or it didn’t happen

Ann: PICS OR IT DIDN’T HAPPEN.

ramen ho: guess hes got access to his hands

Yusuke: Ann, it appears your assumption was incorrect.

Akechi: I kindly request that you send the document in question to this chat so that Ren might focus on the matter at hand.

_‘Futaba changed Akechi’s nickname to hard dick of the law’_

Ann: PICS.

horny on main: I’LL LINK IT MYSELF FOR PROOF

hard dick of the law: I will not send illicit photos to a group chat.

_‘hard dick of the law changed their nickname to Akechi’_

ramen ho: as if ren didn’t talk you into a few for his wank bank

horny on main: I’M SCREAMING

Akechi: Ann, I noted an interest in my upper body strength?

Ann: i mean, you’re not wrong???

ramen ho: hes not denying it

Akechi: If you provide the link, I am willing to put our fearless leader in a compromising position.

horny on main: **Sent file:** MakoHaru.docx

horny on main: SEND NOW

Akechi: A moment, please.

Makoto: Admittedly, the anticipation is killing me.

Haru: I’m curious, as well. Would Akechi-kun actually share a photo of such a nature?

Ann: i love how we’re not questioning if ren would.

horny on main: its REN

horny on main: OF COURSE HE WOULD

Akechi: **Sent file:** Img_0602.jpeg

ramen ho: i told myself i wasnt going to look

ramen ho: i looked

Yusuke: Your eye for aesthetics is quite impressive, Akechi.

Yusuke: I trust you won’t mind if I were to use this photo as inspiration for a commission request I received.

ramen ho: shit get that bread my man

ramen ho: ren would probs say the same but i think hes a little

ramen ho: uh busy

Makoto: I’m afraid to open both of these.

Haru: I can only imagine Futaba’s ‘phanfic’ to be the lesser of two evils, given it has no basis in reality.

Ann: i’ve never actually gotten a nosebleed from this like.

Ann: i thought it wasn’t a real thing that could happen.

horny on main: AKECHI — REN IS LIKE MY BROTHER — YOU ANIMAL

ramen ho: werent you rooting for this

Ann: Futaba?

horny on main: yeah?

Ann: it’s probably best that you make sure no one can trace that back to his phone.

Yusuke: It appears you were not mistaken, Ann.

horny on main: YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME

ramen ho: what

horny on main: THAT NPC HAD TO HAVE ALREADY DONE IT

* * *

Ren was still trying to catch his breath, a flushed mess in Goro’s bed, completely bare sans the sheet covering his lower half. His eyes landed on Goro, who was standing at the foot of the mattress. The other man seemed to have found his boxers amid the wreckage of his room. Ren briefly recalled it feeling sterile before he and Goro managed to get out of their clothes. Goro’s back faced Ren, angry red lines adorning it. From the dull throb in the crook of his neck, it didn’t take a detective to know that Goro had left a few marks of his own. 

“How did you convince me to agree to that photo?” Ren asked.

Goro laughed, the sound so soft Ren hardly heard it. “As if you wouldn’t have agreed to that position without erotic fiction as incentive.” Goro said, turning to face him, phone in hand. It was easy for Ren to guess that he was scrolling through the document the two had traded an illicit photo for. “Oh, it appears Futaba has an interest in pegging. Or at the very least, an interest in Haru pegging Makoto.”

“Good thing I’ve got your cock for that,” Ren said with a laugh.

“Only for special occasions—,” Goro teased, the edge of smile pulling at his features, even as his eyes remained glued to his phone.

“You know,” Ren said, propping himself up on his elbows. “It doesn’t have to be.”

If Goro’s body was loose and languid post orgasm, all the tension not so much coaxed as forced from his form returned in mere moments. Goro was stiff and not in a good way. The detective’s eyes rose slowly and deliberately from their previous focus, the smile curling his lips morphing into something polite and disingenuous. “I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean,” He replied, going to a drawer and retrieving a plain white shirt, pulling it over his head.

“It doesn’t have to be just for special occasions…” Ren replied, sitting up. The sheets pooled in his lap, even as he noticed the beginning of bruises forming on his hips. He could still taste Goro on his lips, the bitterness of coffee, the tang of copper from where the other man had bitten down hard, drawing blood in Ren’s mouth. He could feel how the other man kissed him and touched him as if it would be the last time. Ren paused, a sigh escaping him. “Goro,” he said. The detective arched a brow, clearly cautious if not curious. “I have a confession to make.”

“And what’s that?” Goro replied, placing his phone aside.

“I was cured the first time you got me off in Mementos.”

Several emotions flashed across Goro’s face. Ren recognized them even as they were discarded as quickly as they manifested. Surprise, remorse, and some sort of wary optimism, but Goro seemed to settle on the picturesque facade the ace detective was known for. “Is that what this is about?” Goro asked, a sardonic laugh escaping him, the sound contrite and forced. “Did you not wonder why I continued to ask for your consent, even as I bent you over the seats in the nearest rest area.” Goro scoffed, even as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed. “—I am no fool.”

“I thought—,” Ren said, exhaling sharply as he moved forward, edging towards the foot of the bed. “I thought it was really likely that I could have died. Our plan could have failed and that was the last time we could be together.” He pulled the sheets with him, until he was sitting directly beside Goro, bare feet against the floor, shoes and socks lost along the way. Ren briefly considered how he had nothing to hide behind, sans the sheet covering him, as if the detective hadn’t already seen it all. In a way, his confession was the truest form of stripping his mask from his face. “I thought, that after all the hell you put me through, I should at least get something I wanted.”

“And you did, did you not?” Goro asked, brow arched and jaw clenched. Even as he turned to lean closer to Ren, the detective couldn’t help the tired sigh that escaped him. “What else is it you wish to take from me?”

“I don’t want to take anything from you Goro,” Ren whispered, a promise more than a statement. He leaned forward, hand extended to cup the detective’s jaw. “It’s just gotta mean something that even that barrier couldn’t even keep us apart…” He said, “We’re going to take Shido’s heart and the world’s gonna see what kind of man he truly is.”

“Surely, you know he’ll take me down with him,” Goro replied, turning away.

Ren’s hand fell from Goro’s face, then, fingers lacing with the detective’s as he swore an oath to man who not so long ago would have ripped his still beating heart from his chest. But he hadn’t, if only because Ren had given him the one thing he lacked his whole life, the one thing Ren wouldn’t let Goro lose sight of now, not when a new way of life was on the horizon.

Goro had hope and Ren wasn’t about to let him lose it now.

“I won’t let him,” Ren proclaimed.

“Men are such fallible creatures, Ren.” Goro countered, “I, myself, have proven so much. —It’s foolish to believe in them.”

“You believed in me,” Ren replied, a small smile pulling at his features, the expression reaching his eyes, unobscured by glasses.

“Yes, Ren, I did. Perhaps I am truly the fool.” Goro stood, pulling Ren with him towards his dresser, throwing him the one pair of joggers he owned and another plain white tee before saying, “Now, we’ve got a heart to steal—and if it’s accomplished in a timely manner, I can promise you won’t be able to walk for a week.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

“Then, let’s call it a deal, instead.” 

Goro punctuated the statement by seizing either side of Ren’s face in both of his hands, pulling the man against him once more to deliver a biting kiss, one that Ren is certain to have to have reopened the fresh wound in his mouth.

“Goro Akechi,” Ren said when they parted, leaning his forehead against the detective’s. “I’ll make an honest man or a phantom thief out of you, yet.”

“Now, Ren,” Goro replied, the line of his smile so sharp Ren swore he cut himself on it. “You know you want neither of me.”

“Of course,” Ren confirmed, a sigh escaping him even as he pulled away from Goro. “Loki, Robin Hood, or a bit of both—I’d never want a world where you’re anything you’re not.”

Goro smiled, the sad kind of smile tinged with an edge of fondness he seemed not to bother to hide. “Ren,” He said, “I retract my previous statement for if I were a fool, I would say that… I think I could love you one day—if reality were so kind…”

Ren spent the past several months with the unbearable weight of the circumstances that had befallen not only himself, but his friends. That hadn’t broken him. If anything, it made him stronger. Yet, the hypothetical that spilled from the lips of the man before him shattered something in the leader of the Phantom Thieves. 

He wouldn’t give this up for the world. 

He couldn’t, right?

Unless, of course, Goro Akechi asked him to.

“Well, good thing our reality is."


End file.
